the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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