'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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