And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
