white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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