her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
