the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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