i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
