I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
