So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Are these your boobs on my camera?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
