I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
