Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
