He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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