Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
