brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
