he shaved USA in his pubs
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
The air taste purple.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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