Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
