After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You're a waste of cheezeits
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
