To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
