first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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