so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
His hands were made for my vagina.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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