She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
