so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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