i already hear my dad disowning me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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