too bad you live with your parents still
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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