dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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