I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
