kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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