I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Let's get the cat blown out
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
