did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
