That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
