I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
