I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
