I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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