Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
