Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
as a side note pls kill me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
