my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Randomize
