Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
