Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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