so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize