Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
ttyl tear gas
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
