awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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