I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
