you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
