Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
