sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize