You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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