Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
