This dress was meant to end up on your floor
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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