nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
