She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
