idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize