y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
