That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
we're so committed to being not committed
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