She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize