Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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