I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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