This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
