Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
