I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
