yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
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