Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
