that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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