Its about making memories worth repressing
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Two words: blizzard sex
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
