if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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